


My Crown Is Heavy, but I Have You

by bucheonsbabe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, But he doesn't do it in the end, Crossdressing for safety purposes, Crown Prince Baekhyun, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, M/M, Romance, Royal guard Chanyeol, Secret Relationship, Slice of Life, Smut, TW Baekhyun thinks of slitting his throat mid angsty mental breakdown, it's not as bad as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25681870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucheonsbabe/pseuds/bucheonsbabe
Summary: As a Crown Prince, Baekhyun's duty is to ensure heirs to the throne. It's the last night before his arranged marriage and he isn't ready to let go of his secret lover, his personal guard, Park Chanyeol.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 29
Kudos: 425





	My Crown Is Heavy, but I Have You

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I've always had in mind and finally decided to write. As always, biggest thank you to Urr for beta reading it and helping me with everything<3
> 
> Have fun reading!
> 
> P.S: I had the first music from this video on repeat as I wrote the fic so if you wanna get the mood I was in, listen to 0:00- 3:26 :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&reload=9&v=LgtRqwfJGbI

As Baekhyun approaches the room, he knows it’s past the time he should have been there.

  
  


And when he pulls the key from the necklace under his cloak, he enters with a bitter taste in his mouth. There stands Chanyeol, in all his glory.

  
  


Underdressed in his simple tunic, the man looks more intimidating than him. His loyal and ever-trusted guard looks more imposing than him, the future ruler of his kingdom.

  
  


Something inside Baekhyun breaks. Knowing this may be their last encounter has Baekhyun wanting to kneel and beg for mercy.

  
  


Beg the skies. Beg the Heavens- beg his own parents on his knees in front of his people to free him from the crown. To take the title away from him and allow him to live.

  
  


Baekhyun takes one look at Chanyeol. He looks at the key around the man’s neck and bites the inside of his cheek not to cry.

  
  


The key Baekhyun offered him stands against his clothed torso- the key Baekhyun told him to keep safe.

  
  


There’s something in Chanyeol’s eyes, something Baekhyun’s eyes tear up at when he realises its resolution.

  
  


Chanyeol is sending him away to his betrothed. He’s sending him away no matter how hard Baekhyun tells him he doesn’t want to.

  
  


_ “I want the best for you.” _ He’d tell him like Baekhyun isn’t capable of thinking.  _ “I am no fit for you, my love.” _ He’d say like it doesn’t break Baekhyun’s heart to hear it every time, like it doesn’t make him want to give up on life.

  
  


No one gets it. Not even Chanyeol. No one understands that what pains Baekhyun the most is being separated from him.

  
  


Not his parents, thinking about the beneficial alliance. Not Chanyeol, thinking this is the best thing he could do for the Crown Prince.

  
  


They are all idiots, Baekhyun proudly let them know. His parents, after being miserable in an arranged marriage for twenty years, are urging him to do the same. Unwilling to give up the crown to his brother’s children, the King demanded that Baekhyun bore its weight.

  
  


Uncaring, the King demanded it from him knowing how miserable it made him. Baekhyun might have been raised among the palace’s walls, might have been trained to rule, but if one thing, he expected to be with the one he chose.

  
  


He expected his parents to oppose, but what broke his heart worse was Chanyeol.

  
  


Still is Chanyeol, pretending he is not affected. Pretending all is well so Baekhyun can leave with a light heart.

  
  


“I do not want to.” Baekhyun begs him, shaking his head with a breathy sigh. “Please, if you love me-”

  
  


_ “We went over this, Baekhyun.”  _ Is the only thing his guard lets out, detaching the key from his neck to place it on the wooden table. “I came to give this back and give you my sincerest wishes… I wish for nothing but your happiness.”

  
  


“I will not accept it.”  _ How can Chanyeol be so cruel? _ “As your future king, I will not accept it.”

  
  


Chanyeol shakes his head, gracing the softest smile on his traits. “Do not think of me anymore. Consider it… a quick encounter. Go settle with your betrothed and forget me.”

  
  


The tears fall and Baekhyun has lost all his willpower to stop them. He falls to the floor and curses all things- the Heavens’ sacred name and his parents and even the man standing before him.  _ “How could you! How could you be so cruel to me?!” _

  
  


“Your High-”

  
  


_ “Keep your mouth sealed!” _ Baekhyun yells back, clutching at his cloak.  _ “Do you even care about me? Have I ever meant anything to you?” _

  
  


Chanyeol’s lack of answer is both a blessing and a curse. Perhaps he never did, but the Crown Prince knows better- knows of the nights Chanyeol held him and kissed him and said he would offer him the world if he could. Baekhyun knows of the nights Chanyeol said he dreamed of marrying him- of Baekhyun wearing his last name as a proud mark.

  
  


Baekhyun remembers the numerous times Chanyeol put his life in danger to keep the prince’s life safe. It was his job, but what wasn’t was holding him at night.

  
  


Whispering confessions of love in between tangled sheets. Teasing him under the blankets. Pleasuring him and swearing he would live for nothing but Baekhyun.

  
  


The prince had given him all of his firsts- first kiss, first touch, first time in bed with a man, first love.

  
  


It isn’t that he doesn’t care- Baekhyun knows him all too well. He wants Baekhyun to go with a light heart, not knowing he will lead him to nothing but his misery.

  
  


Nothing hurts more than Chanyeol kneeling in front of him to dry his tears, rough hands around his cheeks. Nothing like the look in his eyes screaming of devotion. Baekhyun is not ready to lose that. 

  
  


“My beloved, you know how I feel.”

  
  


“Then why?” Baekhyun chokes, crying harder at the thought that this may be very well their last night together.  _ “Why, Chanyeol?” _

  
  


The palms around his cheeks are ever so soft. “You say this now, but you do not know of the future.”

  
  


“The future?”

  
  


With a sigh, the guard drops his hands to his own lap. “I will grow old, you will too. Once this flame dies, once you realise the excitement was not enough, not worth it, you will regret it. And as someone who loves you, I am not allowed to let you make such a mistake. Once you grow and see that there is more to life than love, you will see.”

  
  


The Crown Prince is not convinced. “You are not allowed to take decisions in my stead. I will decide what I want, Chanyeol. And it isn’t a life in this palace if I don’t share it with you.”

  
  


“Do you know how much you’d sacrifice coming with me?” The guard says, tone serious. “Do you realise what it means to leave your crown and run with me?”

  
  


Yes, Baekhyun does very well. It will make him a traitor.

  
  


“Not only will the King and Queen be after your head, but you will not have this luxury anymore.”

  
  


_ “I don’t care!” _ Baekhyun yells at the top of his lungs. He doesn’t care and if he has to live on bread and water in even the shabbiest of houses if it means sharing his life with the guard, then he will. “I can work. You can work too. And if that isn’t enough-” He stops, stares at the room surrounding them. “I can bring-”

  
  


“No.” Comes Chanyeol’s steady answer. “I don’t wish for you to live that way.”

  
  


_ “Why are you so cruel!” _

  
  


Desperation clings to his skin- he needs to do something or else this will really be the end. Standing from his knees, Baekhyun looks around the room. “I will take my own life-  _ I will take my own life if you don’t allow me to come with you!” _

  
  


When Chanyeol looks at him like he has lost his mind, Baekhyun is glad for the reaction. With nothing sharp around the room to feed his plan, Baekhyun pulls at the embroidery from his cloak and holds it against his neck. 

  
  


A body crashes with his, the impact forcing him against the wall. His hands are held high above his head and the little piece of threaded gold is dropped on the floor.

  
  


When Chanyeol doesn’t say anything, Baekhyun has a mind to go insane again. “If you stop me now, I will do it on the day of my-”

  
  


What stops him is the sob he hears against his ear. The pain Chanyeol pours into his tears, Baekhyun thinks is just as heavy as his.

  
  


He cries and cries against Baekhyun’s shoulder and only when the grip around his wrists is loose enough does Baekhyun bring his hands to Chanyeol’s head, pushing it deeper in his neck.  _ “I love you.” _ The guard says, voice raspy, but Baekhyun hears it.  _ “Baekhyun, Heavens know just how much I love you. Please-” _

  
  


And just like that, his head is lifted again to stare at Baekhyun’s equally wet eyes. “Please never do anything like this again.”

  
  


Instead of pushing the matter, the prince dries his lover’s tears, admiring his strong cheekbones with his thumbs. “A life without you is not a life worth living.”

  
  


The resolve in Chanyeol’s expression crumbles and he lets the tears fall peacefully. 

  
  


“I… did not wish to scare you. But understand me too, will you?” He asks, reaching for his face again to place their foreheads together. “As much as you want me to be happy, I want you to understand that I will never be unless it’s you.” And before Chanyeol can open his mouth again, Baekhyun pushes a finger against his mouth. “I know the weight my decisions bear. I know that very well, and I am still willing. I am very willing, Chanyeol.”

  
  


He is nowhere near done. “No person will ever come close to you. No woman, nor man. You know this.” Heaving a shaky breath, Baekhyun unties his cloak from the middle. “No one will ever touch this body but you. Wherever you go, I will follow.”

  
  


And yet, Chanyeol asks him another time. “Are you sure, my love?”

  
  


Baekhyun pulls him in by the tunic and crashes their bodies together. “This is the only thing I’ve ever been sure of in my entire life.”

  
  


Something still seems off on the guard’s face. “You will be made a traitor.”

  
  


“I know.” The Crown Prince says with a smile. “Which is why I will dress as a woman until we pass the borders. I will pretend to be your prostitute until we reach the Kingdom in the North- the farthest one from ours.”

  
  


Chanyeol frowns when Baekhyun says prostitute but the prince laughs, telling him that  _ nothing  _ is too much for the price of his freedom.

  
  


“You will also be a traitor if they were to find out…” The smaller traits, frowning at the thought. “I will ensure the powder and paint completely cover my traits.”

  
  


“It won’t be enough.” Chanyeol shakes his head, cupping Baekhyun’s cheek with a hand. “They will recognise you. We must take the illegal routes.”

  
  


The illegal routes are roads only the shady borrow- criminals, people not wanting to be seen, people hiding. Not exactly the best place to be, but there, pretending to be a prostitute in the middle of people starved from famine, no one would notice who hides behind a cover.

  
  


“I can wear a veil.” He adds, placing a hand over Chanyeol’s. “Can we borrow the illegal routes safely?”

  
  


“I know someone. After the routes, we must go by water-” Turning around to look by the window, Baekhyun notices how Chanyeol’s brows crease. “The moon is high in the sky already.” He turns to Baekhyun, grabbing him gently by the forearm. “We must leave now. It would be better to go through the routes at night.”

  
  


Baekhyun’s wedding is to take place the next day. The preparations were all done in a months’ long period. How they allowed him to retreat in his study for the night, he doesn’t know. All he told them was that he needed to spend some time alone before the big day.

  
  


When Chanyeol turns around and looks unsure, stopping in his tracks to grab Baekhyun’s hands, Baekhyun knows what he is about to say. And for this, he will never forgive his parents.

  
  


“Are you sure? It is not too late to-”

  
  


The prince kisses him in answer, pressing the guard’s hands against his body. “I don’t want to turn back. I am leaving with you.” A pause, and then. “I am leaving with you because I deserve to be happy- and you too, Chanyeol.”

  
  


Chanyeol looks at him with such twinkly eyes Baekhyun is half-tempted to ask the older to take him against the wall, but he knows they have no time. He knows they must move quickly. “Do you also want me to… be with you?” The prince asks, just for confirmation. “Because I have been making a scene all this while and-”

  
  


The answer comes in the form of another kiss on his lips and the guard sneaking hands under Baekhyun’s many layers of clothing. “I swear to take care of you and your body.” 

  
  


This time, when Chanyeol pulls him in for a kiss, Baekhyun knows he has finally convinced him. And he knows, with certainty, that he would not have continued a life without Chanyeol.

  
  


The soon-to-be traitor knows, as he gathers as much gold as he can from his room- valuables, the most expensive of his clothing, the finest silk and jewelry, the useless vases he knows will cost a fortune and everything he can get his hands on, he knows that his life would have become meaningless to the point of being undeserving of being lived.

  
  


With parents like his, Baekhyun expected to at least have friends, at least have companions. That, however, deemed by his parents, was forbidden.

  
  


_ “You need no one.”  _ Was the only thing his father told him at the tender age of seven, when Baekhyun grew bored of staying between four walls listening to his teachers- when he bolted outside and tried playing with the children on the streets.

  
  


Baekhyun did not even have siblings.

  
  


Losing Chanyeol means losing the one and only person he has ever wanted.

  
  


It is losing the person who holds him at night and laughs by his side at his silly antics. It would mean losing the man who makes love to him behind closed doors and comforts him when no one is watching. Chanyeol is a man Baekhyun calls  _ his _ .

  
  


When Chanyeol sees the bag in Baekhyun’s hands, he frowns a little.

  
  


“We shouldn’t steal such things.”

  
  


Baekhyun shrugs. “Say it is pay for the emotional damage I’ve handled through these twenty years.”

  
  


And when Chanyeol lets go of the argument, offers his hand and awaits the prince, Baekhyun takes it willingly.

  
  


The moon is already high in the sky when they set off, watching over the forbidden couple.

  
  


-

  
  


Baekhyun gently removes the peruke from his head, sighing at the weight leaving his neck. He still doesn’t know how he manages to wear it every single day.

  
  


Sometimes, Baekhyun thinks it looks pretty on him. Sometimes, he thinks perhaps he should wear it inside too. But Chanyeol always tells him the blonde peruke has nothing on his naturally black hair.

  
  


_ “But it is curled on the sides! And look-” _ Baekhyun would show him how it descends down his nape.  _ “Isn’t it so pretty?” _

  
  


Chanyeol's answer would never waver.  _ “Your black hair under it is much prettier.” _

  
  


It’s with that thought that he places it near his products. Baekhyun takes a look at his painted face and admires his work of art.

  
  


Even as a woman, he would look beautiful. He knows it. That is exactly how he managed to snatch a rewarding job among the wealthy women of the village.

  
  


No longer a royalty member, Baekhyun still remembers many things from his years of training. He remembers how to paint his face and how to speak properly. And with the house he and Chanyeol managed to buy, they were capable of passing as belonging to the middle class.

  
  


Baekhyun would go to their houses and paint their faces, tell them stories about his travels and play with their hair to their convenience. On most days, he would help them pick attires for events and what scents to wear to special occasions accompanying their husbands.

  
  


_ “Father travelled a lot.” _ Baekhyun would tell them when they asked about his background.  _ “I sometimes went with him, and most times, I stayed home with Mother where she’d teach me all about what I know.” _

  
  


And when they asked about said parents, all Baekhyun would say is  _ “They passed away years ago.” _

  
  


He was smart enough to plan in advance all kinds of questions they would be asked.

  
  


_ “I don’t see kids around.” _ One day Mrs Song teased him, nudging him gently in the shoulder.  _ “Your husband shy much?” _

  
  


Chanyeol? Shy?

  
  


Nothing of the sort, no.

  
  


Chanyeol takes him nearly every night before bed, cradles Baekhyun under his form and makes love to him until he can’t anymore. Stains the sheets every time not from their semen but from the amount of oil he uses to ensure penetrating Baekhyun without hurting him.

  
  


The guard wasn’t shy back then, but now, Baekhyun sees that he doesn’t hold back as much. Whenever he wants, he’ll pull Baekhyun towards him and undress him just enough to push his cock in. 

  
  


With the amount of times Chanyeol has taken him against the wall, Baekhyun can proudly say he has no ounce of shame in him.

  
  


Against the wall. As Baekhyun undresses and gets ready for a bath- in the bath, going as far as getting in with him in the already small tub. Getting in before him so Baekhyun has no choice but to sink on his cock and ride him.

  
  


Before going to sleep, most of the times, if he hasn’t gotten his fill during the day. Sometimes, he’d get in bed after Baekhyun and whisper things in his ear, finger him gently just to hear the smaller sigh in content before pushing his cock in and opening him up.

  
  


In the mornings, unfortunately, they have no time for that.

  
  


Baekhyun does not have to wake up as early as Chanyeol, as his occupation allows him more flexibility, but he still does. He still does just to see him off, to kiss him and wish him a good day.

  
  


The now ex-royalty wakes up earlier than his husband just to prepare him a meal. And no amount of Chanyeol telling him to sleep and not bother, that he can do it himself, will stop him.

  
  


He enjoys doing things for Chanyeol. He enjoys making him breakfast just as much as he enjoys presenting naked for his eyes and being taken.

  
  


It hasn’t happened often but sometimes, when Chanyeol has some extra time, when he wakes up earlier than planned for some reason, Baekhyun gets on his knees and sucks his dick in front of the house door. He swallows it all, not wanting to make a mess out of a freshly prepared man ready to go outside.

  
  


_ “For good luck.” _ He would tell him.  _ “Have a good day.” _

  
  


Chanyeol would always tell him  _ “Just wait until I’m back”  _ to come back and spread Baekhyun’s legs on the bed, lick and kiss and eat his cunt.

  
  


Looking at the ring on his finger, Baekhyun can’t believe how far they made it. He can’t believe they were caught at the Northern Kingdom’s borders by the Crown Prince of the land himself, a man about his height with the biggest eyes Baekhyun ever saw.

  
  


When he pleaded and begged and went on his knees to explain their situation despite Chanyeol trying to shield him, Kyungsoo, the Crown Prince, had told him to rise.

  
  


He had told his army to be at ease and welcome the newcomers. To treat them with hospitality and not inform anyone of their arrival.

  
  


Baekhyun didn’t understand at first- welcoming a traitor from a foreign kingdom meant provocation if not a clear invitation for war.

  
  


“Let me say… I have been in your situation once.” Kyungsoo told him, guiding him and Chanyeol to a room inside his palace. “I am to marry my guard once summer comes. I fought everyone for this marriage to happen.” And looking at the both of them, the Crown Prince gave them a warm smile. “My heart goes out to the both of you, and I am willing to help. Tell me how I may do so.”

  
  


This kingdom allows marriage between two men as the Crown Prince himself is set to marry a man. The future King’s words are the law, that is what Kyungsoo always says.

  
  


From changing his family name to his own name, Byun becoming  _ Park  _ and Baekhyun becoming  _ Hyun _ , Baekhyun cannot ever repay Kyungsoo’s kindness enough for what he has done for them. Even their wedding, he allowed it to be a small ceremony with no one but him, his guard soon-to-be his husband- a man by the name of Jongin- Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

  
  


Still, to ensure Baekhyun’s safety, he opted to always dress as a woman outside.

  
  


His excuse for not having kids was  _ “God did not bless me with the power to do so”  _ which earned him sad expressions from all the kind ladies in his neighborhood.

  
  


And now, as he removes the colors from his face with a wet cloth, Baekhyun can’t help but follow the glint of the ring on his finger and remember the man he promised himself to.

  
  


The man he gave his heart and body to. The man who had taken both long ago.

  
  


And just as he’s setting the cloth down, the door opens, revealing his favorite person in the entire world. Baekhyun awaits to see the door closed before running to him, letting Chanyeol welcome him with a kiss on the lips.

  
  


Chanyeol works at the palace as a General. With his knowledge and experience, Kyungsoo being extra kind with them, Chanyeol is now in charge of training new knights and is allowed to go back home to his husband instead of having to sleep within the palace’s walls.

  
  


“How was today?” Baekhyun asks, taking the jacket off his shoulder to set it on the hook behind the door, following him all the way to the kitchen.

  
  


“My love, you did not have to cook today.” Chanyeol softly tells him, kissing the top of his head. “I promised I would today since you cooked yesterday.”

  
  


“I got here earlier today. Besides, I know you’re going to the tavern today with Jongin.” He rushes him to the table, preparing to scoop him a plate. “I don’t want you going to drink on an empty stomach.”

  
  


All he gets in return is a chuckle and a very soft  _ “You have not changed one bit.” _

  
  


Baekhyun likes to think he has. He used to hate his duties as a future king, used to loathe having things to do concerning the palace and the kingdom and his people. How come now he doesn’t mind housework and an actual occupation that rewards him with money?

  
  


Somewhere, back then, Baekhyun understood why Chanyeol was so adamant on having him not work.  _ “I can support the both of us, Baekhyun. There is no need for you to work.” _

  
  


Why? Because all his life he was used to having these things done for him?

  
  


People working for him? Cooking for him? Cleaning for him?

  
  


Baekhyun is now his husband. Just like Chanyeol looks after him, Baekhyun wants to do the same. He wants to please him and see him first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

  
  


They eat as Baekhyun tells him about his day with the ladies and asks Chanyeol questions about what he did.

  
  


“Right.” The older stops, placing his spoon down. “Kyungsoo said he wanted to see you tonight if you’re free.”

  
  


The chuckle Baekhyun lets out startles Chanyeol. “I bet he’s lonely because Jongin’s going out with you.”

  
  


It doesn’t come out the way he wants it to. Chanyeol frowns and looks at him. “Do you feel like that too?” A pause and then. “Would you prefer me staying?”

  
  


Baekhyun shakes his head and covers his husband’s larger palm with his smaller one. “No- not at all. I want you to go out and enjoy your night.”

  
  


“Will you really not be lonely?”

  
  


A smile is all he answers with. “I will go see Kyungsoo, worry not.” And when Chanyeol still seems troubled, like he just hurt Baekhyun’s feelings, Baekhyun squeezes his hand. “I also go out with Kyungsoo, don’t I?”

  
  


Chanyeol nods briefly.

  
  


“Does it bother you?”

  
  


This time, he shakes his head no.

  
  


“You are allowed to have fun without me, Chanyeol.” And this, he knows means a lot more than just the words he let out. This, he knows has Chanyeol on edge- trying to always please Baekhyun and give him everything he can because he somehow still feels guilty about snatching him away from his crown.

  
  


Because he feels the need to compensate.

  
  


“I am happy here with you, do you hear me?”

  
  


And Heavens he is, having quite  _ literally  _ threatened to end his life had Chanyeol stopped rejecting him for a  _ better  _ life with a heavy crown on his head. For a life of misery and neutrality where he would not be allowed out, forced to marry a stranger, and never, ever,  _ ever _ , find love.

  
  


That same afternoon after they finish eating, Chanyeol feels the raging urge to take him to bed, so he does, carries him there and undresses him.

  
  


They make love until Baekhyun is out of breath and Chanyeol’s semen has filled his cunt so much it overflows.

  
  


Side by side, Baekhyun lies on his husband’s chest while he draws shapes on the sweaty skin. It’s still toned and the way it was back in his own kingdom.

  
  


Chanyeol teases him a little after they’ve both caught their breath, pushing fingers in and out of his stretched hole, fingering his own semen out of the smaller.

  
  


It doesn’t take long for Baekhyun to end up with Chanyeol’s cock in his mouth and his cunt on Chanyeol’s tongue.

  
  


He’s never been very good at taking the entire length down his throat, but Chanyeol has taught him to swallow around it and suck it and let it go completely down his throat. He has trained his throat almost every single day for that, all until Baekhyun could stand on his knees with Chanyeol’s entire cock in his mouth.

  
  


So he sucks him just like he was taught, proud he’s so good at it now. And taking it out of his mouth, Baekhyun still can’t believe how big it is- how it fits inside his body or even his mouth.

  
  


After a second orgasm, they lie in bed again completely exhausted.

  
  


Baekhyun reaches for Chanyeol’s hand and brings it to his lips. “I don’t regret it. I don’t regret any of it.”

  
  


The man turns his head to look at him.

  
  


“I was serious back then, and I still am today. I don’t regret any of it.” Baekhyun stops and thinks. “But do you know what I regret?”

  
  


The look on Chanyeol’s face changes to a worried one. Baekhyun rubs his thumb over the knuckles. 

  
  


“I regret not leaving this hellhole sooner. I regret not spending the first years of our relationship freely. That… is my biggest regret.”

  
  


When Chanyeol turns around to cup his cheek, Baekhyun doesn’t mind his tears. “I’m sorry for putting you through it, Baekhyun. I… am deeply sorry for having thought that leaving you behind to the crown was ensuring your future. I can’t offer you more than this house and this ring-”

  
  


_ “I don’t want more.” _ Baekhyun interrupts. “I would not mind living in a smaller house and no ring at all as long as you let me wear your name.”

  
  


Chanyeol looks at him with something akin to relief on his face. “I do not want you to work-”

  
  


“I don’t oppose it. I enjoy it in fact- what else would I be doing all day long waiting for you?”

  
  


A silly game starts just like that. “I don’t wish for you to wake up earlier and-”

  
  


“But that is something I wish for.” The smaller laughs, placing a hand over Chanyeol’s that’s on his face. “I am no longer a prince. I have decided where I wanted to be, and that is with you. You do a lot for me, and I want to do the same for you.”

  
  


“My love…” Chanyeol trails, playing with his hair. “Are you sure?”

  
  


After nearly a year of having escaped his kingdom, Baekhyun makes that choice every day. Every single morning the sun peeks to wake him up and he sees Chanyeol’s limbs around him, he knows this was the right choice.

  
  


What is luxury and a title when at the end of the day he is a prisoner of his own palace? Of his own family? Of the heavy crown he ever so hated?

  
  


Is life worth it?

  
  


Is a miserable life even a life?

  
  


“I would take what we have every day over being a Crown Prince, I promise you.”

  
  


Threatening to take his own life back then, Baekhyun is sure now he would have done it. And not out of spite, not to force Chanyeol to do as he wanted, but simply because that is what he felt deep down. He would have preferred being dead than a prisoner of the crown  _ without  _ his lover.

  
  


That was what he felt back then, truly, deeply in his heart. And he knew, knows today even, that Chanyeol trying to convince him to stay on the “right” path was nothing but out of love for him.

  
  


Chanyeol is not a selfish man. Has never been.

  
  


But that decision, it was Baekhyun’s to make in the end.

  
  


It upset Baekhyun so much back then, but now, as Chanyeol lies with him in bed and tells him how much he wanted his little prince to not struggle in life and be at ease, he understands. He understands when Chanyeol says he thought they would not last and Baekhyun would hate him for making his choices waver. He understands, but he opposes it.

  
  


“I still choose you.” He tells him, heart light at last. “Today like the day I left with you, it is always you.”

  
  


The face Chanyeol grants him is enough reassurance that they are two to feel this way. 

  
  


“Do you think a woman would have satisfied me like this?” Baekhyun asks, pointing to the soiled sheets. “Or a man?” He teases this time, getting nothing but a chuckle out of Chanyeol. “No one does it like you.”

  
  


“A woman, I understand…” The taller trails, and Baekhyun remembers the princess he was supposed to marry. “But why not a man?” It’s with intention that he asks, knowing very well of Baekhyun’s preferences in bed. “You must be penetrated, that is all. Any man could do.”

  
  


Baekhyun hums disapprovingly. “But that is not right. I wish for no one but you to share my bed.” Not caring about the stains, Baekhyun moves closer to his husband, throwing a leg over his waist. “You are the only person I want to be touching me like this.” He tells him, getting close enough for their lengths to touch. “Not any man. Only you.”

  
  


It seems to prompt something in Chanyeol- he looks at Baekhyun’s face for something akin to confirmation and pulls him in for a kiss, sliding a hand between Baekhyun’s parted legs to touch where just minutes ago he emptied himself inside him.

  
  


There is so much Baekhyun wants to tell him but the words get stuck in his throat every time and it’s tears he gets instead so this time, he’ll show him with his body.

  
  


He lets Chanyeol finger him with the fresh semen running down his thighs, easily pushing four fingers in only to swallow his whines with his mouth. It’s not long before Baekhyun is manhandled on his side with his husband right behind him, pushing his cock in for the third time today.

  
  


Chanyeol doesn’t reach for the oil and lets his semen do the job, finding the little one already so stretched. “Am I hurting you?”

  
  


“A little.” Baekhyun replies, catching the arm that was about to retreat from his waist. “I did not say to stop. Go on.”

  
  


So all Chanyeol does is push it all inside and still himself, kissing Baekhyun’s bare neck in little butterfly kisses, all the way from his shoulder up to under his ear, where Baekhyun is the most sensitive. Instead of thrusts, Chanyeol rotates his hips and earns himself moans and a little hand tightening over his arm.

  
  


That is how he takes Baekhyun from behind- kisses on his skin and cock hitting his most delicate place.

  
  


Baekhyun cries and tightens around him and confesses things that would have his cheeks scarlet were they not being intimate, but he can’t help it. Not when Chanyeol is behind him like this.

  
  


_ “Your body belongs to me.”  _ Chanyeol heaves a breath, speaking into his ear, making Baekhyun clench harder around him- he knows how much Baekhyun likes being claimed, being reassured that he belongs with-  _ to  _ someone.  _ “Say it.” _

  
  


The moment Baekhyun says it, Chanyeol holds one of his legs in the air and hits deeper inside him. Baekhyun reaches his high untouched, only from being pounded.

  
  


Somewhere behind him, Chanyeol halts his motions and lays a hand over Baekhyun’s chest like he has done many times, feeling his heartbeat. Still, Chanyeol is not finished.

  
  


“Why-” Breathing harder, Baekhyun gives himself a few seconds to catch it again. His face is flushed and his thighs are sweaty. Chanyeol’s cock is still twitching inside him and pain is shooting up all the way from the back of his thighs to his lower back. Still. “Why did you stop?”

  
  


In answer, Chanyeol pulls himself completely out of Baekhyun’s body and kisses his cheek. “You were already sore. I can take care of it myself, my love.”

  
  


“No.” Is Baekhyun’s only answer, still a little high from being pounded for the third time of the day. “Finish inside me.”

  
  


“Baekhyun-”

  
  


It takes him a moment to catch his breath and answer, a moment where he pulls the arm Chanyeol has around his waist to secure it against his skin, forbidding him from pulling away.  _ “If I can’t even offer my cunt to satisfy my husband, what can I do?” _

  
  


He is the one who made Chanyeol aroused again with his words. Baekhyun is the one to blame for his husband’s hard cock and he thinks, although he would never say out loud, that he takes pride in this.

  
  


In being useful in bed- in satisfying Chanyeol. 

  
  


It still feels like a dream that they can make love freely like this, that no one is suddenly going to barge in or that they have to hide in a single room. It feels euphoric, Baekhyun thinks, as Chanyeol starts hitting inside him once again, to be overworked by his husband.

  
  


To lose his mind over being penetrated. To enjoy intercourse with this much passion.

  
  


It feels like a dream, lying in a bed he calls theirs. Being stripped completely bare and taken from behind like this when he used to only pull his outer robes open and be taken against the wall in their secret meeting room.

  
  


Like this, Baekhyun can make as much noise as he wants. In this house- in  _ their  _ house- no one can question them. In public, he appears to be a woman and only in private is he allowed to be the man he is, but if it is to be held like this, to be taken like this and to be kissed by this man he swore he would not live without, then Baekhyun is willing.

  
  


He is willing to live like an average person. Willing to pretend he is a woman. Willing to change his name.

  
  


It’s right in this instant, as Chanyeol makes him cry from how sore his insides have gotten, that Baekhyun realises something. It’s with his fingers gripping tightly around Chanyeol’s hand that he realises what life is worth.

  
  


Nothing, if he is denied his happiness.

  
  


Everything, if he is allowed to it.

  
  


He would not have given his heart to anyone else- would not have let anyone touch him this intimately.

  
  


It’s with the last thrust Chanyeol delivers that he releases again, flooding Baekhyun’s insides with warm semen.

  
  


_ “I apologise.”  _ Comes Chanyeol’s hoarse voice, his grip loosening around Baekhyun’s hip. 

  
  


Baekhyun feels so numb right where his husband just finished inside him, but he is content. His heartbeat is still erratic, his legs feel sore, but he’s happy. “I know you have more energy than me.” The younger chuckles, not forgetting Chanyeol was and still is a guard.

  
  


Remembering how hard Chanyeol trains physically, how much he moves and sweats during the day compared to Baekhyun.

  
  


It is only normal he asks for more.

  
  


And when Chanyeol pulls his limp penis out of him, Baekhyun sighs at the semen flowing out of his entrance, at the way his hole flutters and tries adjusting to how stretched it was forced to be.

  
  


He turns around and takes his time appreciating Chanyeol’s traits; his closed eyes, open mouth drawing in air, his relaxed brows and the sweat by his temples. Taken by a wave of affection for this man, Baekhyun maneuvers his body to sit on top of his husband’s waist, momentarily forgetting that his entrance is still soiled from the product of their love making.

  
  


Chanyeol seems not to mind it, eyes still closed when he reaches for Baekhyun’s waist to steady him in place. There is a mix of oil and semen dripping out of him and on Chanyeol’s skin, their sweaty bodies still cooling down, and Chanyeol still seems not to mind it, only keeping his hands around Baekhyun to ensure he doesn’t fall off the mattress- like Baekhyun accidentally does sometimes.

  
  


With one delicate hand, he reaches to wipe the sweat away from his temples, following his hairline until his husband’s face seems a little cooler.

  
  


When Chanyeol opens his eyes, Baekhyun can see how much he seemed to need that. Taking Baekhyun this hard.  _ “What are you doing?” _

  
  


“Wiping your sweat.” The smaller proudly answers, placing both palms against Chanyeol’s chest. 

  
  


_ “Don’t do things like this, Baekhyun.” _

  
  


“But… why?”

  
  


“Because.” The guard opens his eyes, a new expression on his face. “It makes me want to do things like this.”

  
  


Before Baekhyun can ask, Chanyeol reaches around Baekhyun’s bottom, feels his abused entrance with the pad of two fingers before directing back his length at the entrance, pushing inside the ex-prince with no restriction.

  
  


Baekhyun jumps a little at the intrusion, but Chanyeol keeps him in place, length nestled inside him.

  
  


“Because it makes me want to do things like this, Baekhyun.”

  
  


Not understanding what he means, Baekhyun tries to lift his bottom up with the intention of going down again. If Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to ride his cock, if he wants Baekhyun to take him a fourth time, then he will.

  
  


Except that doesn’t happen- Chanyeol’s hands are steady and strong against Baekhyun’s waist and he shakes his head. “Stay like this.”

  
  


“You can-”

  
  


Another disapproving shake of the head. “I don’t want to take you again.” A pause, and. “I want you to sit like this, my love. Don’t move, just stay like this.”

  
  


A huff of warmth invades Baekhyun’s neck, going all the way up to his face. His cheeks were heated from what Chanyeol did to him, but like this, facing him, bare for his eyes, told to sit and stay still on his cock after being fucked open, Baekhyun can’t help it.

  
  


He doesn’t want to know what life would have been without Chanyeol. He doesn’t even want to think about it. And yet here it is, the fear that this newfound happiness may be taken away from him. That Chanyeol may be found and punished because of him.

  
  


“Tell me what you are thinking.”

  
  


“Nothing.” He replies simply, clenching around the cock inside him. “I’m not thinking about anything.”

  
  


“Liar.” The guard teases, reaching for Baekhyun’s nipples with his thumbs. “Sometimes I really wish I could read your mind.”

  
  


“It’s nothing, really.”

  
  


Chanyeol nods and doesn’t add a word, the way he does when he knows Baekhyun is about to pour his heart out. Baekhyun shivers from how well this man knows him.

  
  


“I just think, what if we can’t be like this forever?”

  
  


The expression on Chanyeol’s face softens and he reaches for Baekhyun’s hands instead, rubbing his palms with a familiarity only he knows.

  
  


“This-” The ex-prince points between their bare bodies, points to the place he has learned to call  _ home _ . “-what if I can’t have it forever?” And in a much quieter whisper,  _ I want it forever. _

  
  


“And you will.” Chanyeol reassures, tightening his hands around the younger’s. “I’m not going anywhere, Baekhyun. And if the need arises, I will not take a step without you.”

  
  


“What if my family finds us?”

  
  


This time, Chanyeol shakes his head. “It has been a year, my beloved. They declared you dead, remember? They would not profit off bringing you back.” And as Baekhyun thinks of multiple other scary scenarios, before he can open his mouth, Chanyeol beats him to it. “You are dressed as a woman in public. We have changed your name and we have Kyungsoo on our side.”

  
  


Just as he thinks Chanyeol could not be any more of a gentleman, he gets proven wrong when the older pulls him down to his chest, hugging his naked body. “I will not let anyone take you away. I promise you that.”

  
  


“It’s you I don’t want them to take away.” Baekhyun protests, giggling as Chanyeol cuts him off with a kiss on the lips.

  
  


“We escaped your kingdom, passed the borders, got the local royal family on our side and made it safely here. Whatever happens, I know we can get through it.” When Chanyeol pauses, Baekhyun worries something has gone through his mind. “I will kill whoever deprives me of having you in my bed like this.”

  
  


And as they start kissing more, Baekhyun feels his husband hardening inside him. Between hushed  _ I love yous _ and mouths moving together, Baekhyun held open by Chanyeol as the guard takes him yet once again against his chest, sweat and semen and their bodies limp for the fourth time, Baekhyun lies in bed with him a little more at ease.

  
  


“I love you.”

  
  


Baekhyun is glad to have said it first, teasing Chanyeol until he hears it again- as if his husband wasn’t balls deep inside him minutes ago telling him he would never touch someone the way he touches him, that he would never hold a person the way he holds Baekhyun.

  
  


Baekhyun just happens to enjoy it.

  
  


“I love you even more.” Is Chanyeol’s answer, prompting a debate over who loves the other the most.

  
  


And they do.

  
  


They really do live a happy, peaceful, life minus Kyungsoo and Jongin’s daily requests to join them on ridiculous adventures all around the kingdom.

  
  


And after everything, they get their happy ever after.

  
  


They do, and just when they thought they could not get anything better, it just so happens.

  
  


Baekhyun is on his way back from work, in a hurry because Chanyeol assured him he would be home early that day. Today, he wasn’t at Ms Song’s house, rather at Ms Kang’s, another of the very kind ladies Baekhyun has the pleasure to be working with.

  
  


It’s farther from his and Chanyeol’s house but work is work and so Baekhyun doesn’t mind it, having to walk longer to get to their place. Just as he’s passing through the known bakery, Baekhyun notices a child on the floor.

  
  


He’s got a round bread clutched in both hands.

  
  


His clothes are torn, an old beige tunic covering most of his form with an equally ruined pair of trousers, about the same color but with visible dirt on them. His hair is long and unruly, and he has nothing on to protect his feet.

  
  


Baekhyun can’t leave. Something breaks his heart at the sight and he can’t just turn around and leave.

  
  


“Hi.” He tries, walking to the boy and crouching in front of him, thankful for the way he is still dressed as a woman as he must come off less scary. “Are you alone?”

  
  


The little boy nods, continuing to eat his bread in peace.

  
  


“Where are your parents?”

  
  


This time, he shrugs. Baekhyun is puzzled enough to enter the bakery, greeting Mr So before asking about the child outside.

  
  


“An orphan, that’s what I heard.” He gets told, a sad look on his face. “He was lookin’ at the bread and salivating over ‘em, couldn’t do anything but feed him.”

  
  


“Any relatives we can contact?”

  
  


“Not sure, Mrs Park. I heard from the villagers that he’s been roaming the streets for weeks now.”

  
  


Baekhyun steps out after thanking him only to find the little boy still on the ground, now almost finished with his piece of bread. “Hey, how about you come home with me? I’ll cook something delicious for you.”

  
  


It turns out that the only thing he needed to get the boy back with him was food. And as he holds the little boy’s hand and walks back towards their house, something strikes him harder.

  
  


Baekhyun was never good with kids, always found them superficially loud and upsetting to be around, but seeing this little boy who can’t be over three years old in such a poor state, eating this little bread like it’ll be enough for him, completely breaks Baekhyun’s heart.

  
  


He, who used to eat anything and everything, not even realising his luck. Who used to throw so much untouched food because it was the rule- that no one was allowed to eat or have the Crown Prince’s leftovers.

  
  


Baekhyun just knows he can’t leave him alone- his heart would not have it.

  
  


Bring him over for a real meal, that’s all he can do.

  
  


_ What else can I do? _

  
  


“What’s your name?” He asks, lifting the boy to carry him so his feet would not touch the hot ground. 

  
  


“Hojun.”

  
  


-

  
  


It turns out that Chanyeol is not exactly back the moment Baekhyun passes through the door with Hojun in his arms, most likely held back by Kyungsoo for duties.

  
  


And as he looks at the little boy, Baekhyun something in his chest stirs.

  
  


It’s an odd feeling. A feeling Baekhyun is sure his own parents never felt towards him.

  
  


Such a little and fragile thing roaming the streets where only Heavens know what could have happened to him- begging for food, dirty as the ground they step on.

  
  


A little boy who’s got his whole life in front of him- who could, if given the opportunity, accomplish great things. 

  
  


_ “Screw great things.”  _ Baekhyun mutters under his breath. “A good life. That’s what’s ahead of him.”

  
  


Because great things are what the grand Crown Prince was supposed to accomplish.

  
  


To reign and lead his kingdom. Erase his individuality and bend to his its will.

  
  


Before meeting Chanyeol, Baekhyun had once been a believer of that system. He had dreamed of sitting on the golden throne, awaiting to be served and worshipped and listened to.

  
  


But he had been naive, not knowing that such luxury came with a price. As a child, as a teenager and even at eighteen years old, he had believed in it. 

  
  


Baekhyun had believed and listened and obeyed and awaited his turn.

  
  


But after meeting Chanyeol, Baekhyun discovered that there was more to life than this.

  
  


Because after falling in love with the selfless knight, Baekhyun knew that gold would not feed his demanding heart. He knew that no matter how many men kneeled for him, the amount of gold he would have stocked and the wars he’d have won, it would not compare with the love of a single man.

  
  


It  _ would  _ not compare with Chanyeol’s love.

  
  


It would not and long ago, Baekhyun would have said horrifying things about the people who accepted to bend their knees to the system- for people who gave up on freedom for wealth.

  
  


But who is he kidding? And to think he thought he was wise.

  
  


Because looking at this starving child, at the people outside struggling just as badly as him, Baekhyun realises that he could only come to these conclusions because he’s privileged no matter where he goes.

  
  


Privileged even now and today, both him and his husband working high-paid jobs and making enough to cover their expenses. Sure, it isn’t like living in the palace, but compared to the families on the streets, Baekhyun  _ is  _ privileged. 

  
  


And this child… Baekhyun isn’t sure why his heart refused to turn a blind eye and leave him on the street not out of cruelty, but because their secret was barely holding together. And if then Baekhyun only wanted to bring him home for a meal, now there is an odd feeling in his chest.

  
  


The feeling of responsibility- the want to protect such an innocent life.

  
  


He wants to keep him- he wants to keep and raise and protect him. Baekhyun doesn’t know if he has parents, but even if he does, if that is the state they left him in, then someone else has to step up.

  
  


Baekhyun never knew he’d feel the need to raise children- he never understood the obsession certain people had to have children and raise them. It isn’t that he despises children per say, he just… it is not his thing.

  
  


And yet here he is, nervous about his husband’s return as he watches the child eat like he’s in a hurry- like someone’s chasing him, and perhaps, if Baekhyun didn’t figure out that it was nothing but the hunger, he’d have thought that the little boy was  _ really  _ getting chased.

  
  


No, children were never a dream of his- more like an obligation for the throne. But looking at this one eating, Baekhyun doesn’t have the heart to let go of him.

  
  


Maybe they could raise him… 

  
  


They’ll have to talk about this- about Baekhyun wanting to take him in and raise him and what it would mean for them as a couple. Baekhyun doesn’t even know if Chanyeol wants children or if he’ll be comfortable having one in the house- he just hopes he will.

  
  


And they’ll need to discuss whether or not to reveal Baekhyun’s true identity- and if he can go back to being a man inside the house or fear that the little boy might speak outside by mistake.

  
  


With so much to figure out, Baekhyun keeps the peruke and the paint on and decides to sit the child on their already made bed, kneeling in front of him. “What would you like to eat now? Anything you want?” He asks, despite having fed him what was left from the day before, in a hurry before the little boy would starve.

  
  


It’s with the biggest smile and reaching hands that he answers  _ “Meat!” _

  
  


-

Baekhyun has only enough time to get the little boy’s food ready and to get him seated on the table before the door opens, revealing his husband.

  
  


Before he can say anything, Chanyeol gives him a look- the kind he usually does when Baekhyun has people over. And even then, it happened so rarely he could count it on a single hand.

  
  


“Hyun-”

  
  


In a single moment, Hojun has left his seat and his plate, hiding behind Baekhyun’s legs.

  
  


_ “It’s okay, Hojun. He’s a nice man, don’t worry.” _

  
  


Except the little boy doesn’t seem to be convinced and Chanyeol seems to be even more confused.

  
  


“That’s my husband.” Baekhyun tries again, lifting the child to hold him in his arms. “How about you continue your meal while I go have a little talk with him? Then we could take you out to buy more of that bread you were eating?”

  
  


At the mention yet again of food, Hojun forgets about the newcomer and returns to his seat all the while Baekhyun drags Chanyeol to the end of the kitchen room, as far away from the dining table as possible.

  
  


_ “Is everything alright with you?” _ Is the first thing that comes out from Chanyeol’s mouth, his hands catching onto Baekhyun’s. “Who is this child?” He asks in a whisper, looking in said child’s direction.

  
  


“I am fine.” The younger answers, squeezing back on the General’s hands. “I found him on the streets- alone. He was hungry and I-”

  
  


How would he explain it? How would Baekhyun explain it without sounding selfish?

  
  


Because he has everything he needs- he told Chanyeol this very sentence multiple times. And now what? He wants to keep a child and raise him?

  
  


Except Chanyeol is still there. He is still there and he’s waiting for an answer, holding onto Baekhyun’s much smaller hands and glancing- every now and then- curiously at the mysterious newcomer in their house.

  
  


“I want to raise him.”

  
  


Chanyeol looks up once, blinks twice before looking down to their hands. “Baekhyun-”

  
  


“He’s an orphan- I can verify with Kyungsoo but he has been roaming on the streets for weeks now all alone and look at him- he needs a bath and clean clothes and food and someone to look after him and he needs to start learning and going to school and a haircut and-”

  
  


“Baekhyun.”

  
  


It’s a little more sure now, the way Chanyeol speaks. Like he knows where that nervous train of thoughts is coming from. 

  
  


“You… want to raise a child?”

  
  


A pause.

  
  


_ “With me?” _

  
  


_ With who else? _ Baekhyun almost answers only to take his time to study Chanyeol’s face because this… this is important. This isn’t something he can do by himself-  _ isn’t _ something he should do by himself.

  
  


This child, Chanyeol should have a say on it- on this situation.

  
  


“Of course I do.” Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun takes one look in Hojun’s direction before turning back to his husband. “When I saw him, I knew I couldn’t walk past him and do nothing. And you… I trust you with my life. I ran away from my crown to have you. I married you. And I want to have this family with you.” He’s getting ahead of himself. “But I need to know if that would be alright by-”

  
  


Before Baekhyun even has the time to finish his sentence, Chanyeol has him pulled close enough for their lips to touch- a brief kiss considering that there’s a child nearby, and their foreheads touching right after.

  
  


“I love children, Baekhyun.”

  
  


That, he knew.

  
  


“And this child... if he really is an orphan, then I’ll welcome him into our home with open arms.”

  
  


The only question is does Chanyeol genuinely want this from the bottom of his heart?

  
  


“I was content with having only you but this… this is more than I would have ever imagined.”

  
  


What hurts even more is that Baekhyun knew all of this already. He knew how much Chanyeol adored children and how much he wanted to have a little family of their own, although he didn’t speak of it explicitly because they could not procreate together.

  
  


But what the ex-prince knows is that wanting a family and suddenly being presented with a child out of nowhere are two different things.

  
  


So, with his forehead against Chanyeol’s, Baekhyun asks, “Are you sure you are not doing this only for me?”

  
  


This time, Chanyeol’s eyes shine with tears. “I don’t know how we’ll do it- we’d have to seek Kyungsoo for advice and help and for you, my love-” He stops, catching Baekhyun’s fake blonde locks between his fingers like a reminder of their situation before looking back to the child eating. “But let us sit and think about what to do. Perhaps we could move neighborhoods and you could stop pretending to be a woman?”

  
  


It’s said between the lines, but Chanyeol is clear about the fact that he doesn’t want Baekhyun to bear the new burden of hiding his identity yet again in the comfort of his own home.

  
  


There is that, and there is the fact that the child is too young yet to understand what secrets are and why Baekhyun’s identity must be kept a secret.

  
  


“But in public…”

  
  


A year and a half, that is how long has passed since they’ve escaped together and settled for a new life.

  
  


“It has been long enough.” Chanyeol reassures. “But I will still talk with Jongin and Kyungsoo regarding this matter.”

  
  


And like they’ve helped them numerous times before, they will this time. Baekhyun is positive they will.

  
  


“How about you go to Kyungsoo while I stay with him?” Baekhyun asks, detaching himself from his husband to look over the child. “He is more used to me than you.”

  
  


With one last kiss on the cheek, the General who just arrived, is out of the door, and as Baekhyun watches Chanyeol walk in the familiar direction of the palace, he prays.

  
  


He prays their blessings extend this far.

  
  


They have made it so far already, so are they allowed to ask for more?

  
  


Looking at the child, Baekhyun can only pray they can.

  
  


*

  
  


The Sun is high in the sky for such an early hour, Chanyeol notices. Perhaps too high in the sky to be out, but he’s on his way back from the palace and he has two people waiting for him.

  
  


It’s still so new to him- all of it. But in front of Baekhyun, he tries not to tell him nor worry him.

  
  


If truth was to be told, Chanyeol doesn’t know what exactly he’s doing with Hojun. Chanyeol was never taught how to raise a child nor care for one.

  
  


No one has shown him how to be a good parent- how to be a good  _ father _ . But then again, no one has ever taught him how to be a good partner, and yet, Baekhyun thinks so highly of him.

  
  


Was that something he was born with? Or is Baekhyun simply easy to please?

  
  


Does being a good husband equals to being a good father?

  
  


But most importantly, is Baekhyun not as worried as him or is he good at hiding it?

  
  


With the bag of Hojun’s favorite rounded breads in hand, Chanyeol turns on the alley, continuing all the way until the end of the road before coming to a halt in front of the door.

  
  


_ You can do this.  _

  
  


_ You can be a good husband  _ and  _ a good father. _

  
  


And just as the door opens for him, it’s Hojun’s face that greets him first thing.

  
  


_ “Daddy!” _

  
  


Baekhyun is hidden somewhere behind Hojun’s head, only his giggles resonating in the new house as he holds the child tight in his arms in fear he’ll jump on the floor from the kitchen counter to get to Chanyeol.

  
  


It  _ has  _ happened. Multiple times.

  
  


_ “Daddy’s home!” _

  
  


And just at the sight of their son, the worries clouding over Chanyeol’s mind start feeling superficial and very,  _ very  _ far away because this child they’ve taken in and raised for a year now, this beautiful child they’ve cared for and protected and held, smiles this wide when he sees Chanyeol.

  
  


“Hojun sweetheart, what did we say about jumping when daddy gets home?”

  
  


It falls deaf on the little boy’s ears who’s eager to get out of Baekhyun’s arms to reach for his other dad- and most probably the bag of bread more than anything. Instead, Chanyeol places his sword away where Hojun can’t reach it and returns to his two favorite boys, catching Baekhyun by the waist to give him a kiss on the cheek before grabbing their son from his arms.

  
  


As expected, Hojun reaches for the bag before Chanyeol can even sit at the kitchen table or say a word. And by the time they’re at the table as they should, Hojun has one full piece of bread between both hands, teeth already in.

  
  


“You know what’s papa’s going to say when he sees that you didn’t wash your hands before eating, don’t you?”

  
  


“I washed my hands!” He replies, mouth full of bread. “Washed it to help papa with cooking.”

  
  


And true to his words, when Chanyeol looks at his husband again, he sees that indeed, Baekhyun is preparing food.

  
  


“I don’t get a kiss?” Chanyeol pouts, poking his son’s cheek. “No kiss for daddy whom you haven’t seen in a week?”

  
  


Suddenly, it’s as if something has dawned upon the little boy. Hojun drops his bread on the table and turns to Chanyeol, hugging his neck with his hands and mouth full of crumbs. “Don’t go again.”

  
  


“It’s for work, sweetheart.” The knight replies, hugging him back. “I have to go some times, you know that, right?”

  
  


“-don’t like it-” Hojun mumbles while Chanyeol starts feeling bread on his neck. “Papa’s busy with the bakery so you should help him if you wanna be a good husband.”

  
  


Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun erupt in laughter, the ex-prince turning to look in their direction. “I have no idea what they’re teaching him in school.”

  
  


And for this time, Baekhyun lets it pass- lets Hojun eat his favorite bread before the actual meal because Chanyeol’s been away for a while and Baekhyun knows he will be gone soon again.

  
  


It’s nothing more but returning the favor to Kyungsoo who so generously helped them settle with Hojun elsewhere- far,  _ far  _ away from the place they first arrived and lived in. Chanyeol goes back once every two months to help the new General train the royal knights and ensure their training program is just as rigorous as his was.

  
  


“Ba- Hyun.”

  
  


Baekhyun shoots him a scared look and visibly swallows, forcing a smile on his face when Hojun looks at him again.

  
  


“How’s the bakery going? Could you manage on your own without me?”

  
  


“Papa’s really tired.” Hojun interrupts, pointing to Baekhyun. “You should help him.”

  
  


Another thing they’ve gotten used to- calling Baekhyun  _ Hyun  _ at all times in front of the child.

  
  


Although Kyungsoo managed to move them away on a much more secluded island, saying it’d be much more peaceful there and safe, although he made sure to place knights in their neighborhood to ensure the family’s safety and privacy, Chanyeol and Baekhyun decided that keeping away Baekhyun’s name from Hojun was the best thing to do.

  
  


At only four years old, Hojun is nothing but a child. And children talk.

  
  


If he were to mention  _ Baekhyun  _ anywhere… it would not end up well.

  
  


His name has been forgotten with time, forgotten and buried under the rumors of war involving the kingdom he once belonged to, but Baekhyun prefers not taking a chance.

  
  


He has told Chanyeol multiple times that this little sacrifice was nothing compared to everything they had. Compared to everything they once had to sacrifice.

  
  


And Chanyeol knows he would sacrifice more than just that for Hojun.

  
  


“Have you cleaned your room today?” Chanyeol asks, smooching the little boy’s cheek. “I bet papa would be glad if you cleaned your room while I go clean the bakery. What do you say?”

  
  


Hojun nods, stuffs the rest of his bread in his mouth and kisses his father on the cheek once again before Chanyeol lets him down, watching as Hojun runs to Baekhyun to do the same, pulling on his trousers to get his attention- and a kiss.

  
  


“I am sorry.” Is the first thing Chanyeol says when Hojun is out of sight. “It slipped, I swear. I’ve missed you so much and it reminded me of when I left back then and came back to you in the palace calling you-”

  
  


The smaller simply shakes his head. “It’s okay.”

  
  


Except it isn’t. Baekhyun looks preoccupied and Chanyeol knows that look on his face. “He didn’t hear it- he was not even paying attention.”

  
  


Another time, Baekhyun shakes his head. “Chanyeol.” With a deep sigh, Baekhyun turns towards the direction Hojun left in. “Are we doing the right thing?” A pause, and a shaky breath. “Am I doing the right thing?”

  
  


Chanyeol gets closer to him and grabs him by the waist with one arm, rubbing soothingly against his skin. “What is this about?”

  
  


“Lying to him.” He confesses like a crime. “About everything, Chanyeol. About where we came from, how we met, who we are- even my  _ name _ .”

  
  


So Chanyeol thinks. And he comes to the same conclusion they came to a year ago, remembers how he was nervous just minutes ago coming back home. “Do you want to tell him?”

  
  


Baekhyun drops his head on his husband’s shoulder. “No, that is not an option.”

  
  


“Then?”

  
  


“Will he forgive me?”

  
  


_ “Will he forgive me for what I’ve done?” _

  
  


At that, Chanyeol lets go of his waist and guides him to the kitchen table, grabbing him by the back of his thighs to sit him on said table. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, Chanyeol passes a hand to rub at his nape. “Listen to me.”

  
  


And Baekhyun, desperate for comfort, looks up.

  
  


“You are doing an amazing job. You took him in and stepped up as a father and raised him and kept him safe all this time- and I know you will continue to.”

  
  


“And if that isn’t enough?”

  
  


Chanyeol shakes his head. “You put yourself in danger- in even more danger to bring him in and raise him. You sacrificed a lot for him- and I have. I made that decision  _ with  _ you- so if he’s mad, then he’ll be mad at the both of us, but Hojun is a smart kid. He’ll understand.”

  
  


“Will he really?”

  
  


And this time, Chanyeol nods with the confidence that their son will. “Of course he will. You have been nothing but an amazing parent to him. And it’s not like you kept this secret from him for your own benefit… you are trying to protect him.  _ We  _ are.”

  
  


Baekhyun swallows back his tears and looks down. “And if he is upset?”

  
  


“Then it won’t be forever. It won’t last long before he barges in and asks us about everything instead. He will forgive us. He  _ will  _ forgive you,  _ Baekhyun _ . He loves you more than anything, don’t doubt that.”

  
  


This time, Chanyeol manages to get a laugh out of him as he wipes away the few tears that managed to fall already. “You say that but he asks about you all day long when you’re gone- and runs to you the moment you walk past this door.”

  
  


It all dawns upon Chanyeol in this same moment- looking around the house, the traces of Hojun everywhere, the rings around their fingers and the man in his arms.

  
  


They have made it so far. And yet meeting with Baekhyun one last time secretly before his arranged wedding all feels like it was just yesterday.

  
  


Arriving in Kyungsoo’s kingdom- being caught in the illegal routes, being offered shelter and safety from the kind prince, settling into a new life- it all feels like yesterday.

  
  


Meeting Hojun and adopting him into their family, it all feels so recent.

  
  


And that’s when Chanyeol understands it; time spent in Baekhyun’s company tastes so much more than the time he used to spend in the palace as Baekhyun’s guard.

  
  


“He loves you.” Chanyeol reassures him. “He loves you and he will continue loving you even after we tell him.”

  
  


It’s the first time Baekhyun looks hopeful, when he looks into his eyes. “You have me, Baekhyun. You’ll always have me.”

  
  


Baekhyun nods, a little relieved and pulls him in for a kiss.

  
  


_ Comfort me. _

  
  


So Chanyeol does, presses close to his body and kisses him for the first time in a week. Cups his cheeks and keeps him in place to get his fill.

  
  


“Do you ever regret it? Starting a family with me?”

  
  


Chanyeol pulls him even closer. “No. I’m so happy with you and Hojun, I would not ask for anything more.”

  
  


When Baekhyun interlaces their fingers, Chanyeol looks at their rings. “Do you regret abandoning your crown for me?”

  
  


It always gets Baekhyun, this question. Always makes him look up with tears in his eyes as if to say  _ how dare you _ . And even with Baekhyun’s answer unchanged every time, Chanyeol needs reassurance as much as him.

  
  


“No. It’s the best decision I’ve ever taken.”

  
  


Two years and a half later, Chanyeol can proudly say he believes him. He can proudly say it doesn’t make him as anxious, as guilty to think Baekhyun left his luxury life for him- if only for the fact that his kingdom is on the brink of war.

  
  


At the very least, he is glad Baekhyun has no love left in his heart for his parents after all they’ve done to him. He knows full well that were they to die, Baekhyun would not mourn them.

  
  


Just as he’s pulling him in for another kiss, soft feet padding catches both parents’ attention and soon enough, they find themselves with Hojun.

  
  


“I don’t want to clean my room.” He tells them, insistent, like he has somewhere else to be. 

  
  


“And why not?” Baekhyun asks, like a natural, like someone who was born to be a parent. 

  
  


_ “I want to go to the bakery with you two!” _

  
  


Chanyeol subtly nudges Baekhyun and the latter gets it, nodding before walking to their son and scooping him up in his arms. “How about we all go to the bakery and then come back up to clean your room?”

  
  


The little boy nods and gestures to the bag of bread on the table until Chanyeol gets it for him.

  
  


“How about you go downstairs to the bakery first while we lock everything?”

  
  


Hojun is out of their sight in a moment and Chanyeol uses that opportunity to press Baekhyun against the wall and steal another kiss from his mouth, thinking about going further, hands dipping-

  
  


“Daddy?”

  
  


Chanyeol jumps away, passing a hand through his hair and putting on his best face. “Yeah, sweetheart. What is it?”

  
  


Hojun looks between both his parents and frowns, looking as confused as he could be. “Papa looks all red… does he have a fever?”

  
  


“Hyun? No sweetie, don’t worry. He is perfectly fine.”

  
  


“Then can you hurry? I’m waiting for you downstairs!”

  
  


“Of course.” Baekhyun interrupts. “We’ll be down in a minute.”

  
  


Making sure their son is really gone, Baekhyun lets out a sigh and crouches. “Listen- no more kissing when he’s around.”

  
  


“But just a kiss is fine.” Chanyeol argues. “He was gone-”

  
  


“No.” Baekhyun fans his cheeks, rearranging his trousers. “Because it always starts with kissing, and then it turns into… many other things.”

  
  


Chanyeol still manages to get a hug- a bone-crushing hug and a kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek, an  _ I love you _ in his ear.

  
  


“We may have to go now…” Chanyeol trails, grabbing the keys from the kitchen table where Baekhyun left them. “But when he’s asleep tonight…”

  
  


“You are shameless.” Baekhyun states, catching the keys before going out of the door. “Absolutely shameless.”

  
  


“I don’t recall being the one to enjoy being taken against the wall-”

  
  


“So, how are Jongin Kyungsoo? When are we visiting him next?”

  
  


“They are just fine. And next month, actually. They said to bring Hojun over.”

  
  


As they go down the stairs, Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s wrist and stops him. “I’ve missed you.”

  
  


Baekhyun looks up. “I have missed you too.” He replies like it’s obvious.

  
  


“I missed your body too, Baekhyun.”

  
  


And if anything, the way Baekhyun’s cheeks set aflame puts the biggest smile on the knight’s face. “I’ve missed lying in bed with you and holding you and… everything else we do.”

  
  


The smaller nods to him- like to confirm something. “You’ll have me tonight. I promise.”

  
  


And it’s with this promise that Chanyeol follows him downstairs, with the promise of a pretty blush on Baekhyun’s cheeks, a hand tightly held in his, and a child he swore to protect with his life the same way he swore to protect Baekhyun.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly,,, I started writing this just a little after BAE started. I've always had this idea in mind, just the angsty forbidden love between a crown prince and his knight and them escaping far away and having the perfect little domestic life,,, my heart :((
> 
> It's a short fic but I've always wanted to get it out of my mind and finally on paper, so this is it :))
> 
> It hasn't been so long since I finished BAE(and wrote two fics JSJSJSS) but here I am! I've also joined lots of fests and I have so many ideas I wanna write so here I come hehe.
> 
> I really wanna hear what you thought of the fic and what you liked and all *_*
> 
> Please do tell me what you thought of it! I read all the comments and they always make me super happy!! :)
> 
> You can reach me here [twitter](https://twitter.com/bucheonsbabe?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) and here [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/bucheonsbabe) :)<3


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